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I’m basically saying I’m peak because I have a peak class

even tho school don’t start till september

Reflection #6.mp3

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first sfm post fuck

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/1061864418409220688/
link above leads to my pinterest post

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/1061864418409112162/
link above leads to the og post that inspired me to do some shi like this

Maris theme.mp3

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THEIR OC

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My (WIP)

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I’m also going to make adoption papers

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First place!

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Second place!

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Third place!

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Fourth place!

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I thank everyone for participating!! The competition is now closed since I have no further updates on any people who want to join 😅

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Help me get out of it
I can’t keep my head up
Oh, please tell me, how do you feel
I’m drowning in this river
It’s hard to take, it’s hard to break
For you, I’m a pawn to sacrifice
Tried to make amends, I’ve tried to pretend
Yet, somehow, it always creeps back in
Feels like yesterday when I heard you say
“I’m yours to devour 'til my last breath”
Help me get out of it
I can’t keep my head up
Please tell me, how do you feel?
I’m drowning in this river
I tried my very fucking best to get over it
But thеre’s not a single day I spent without caring morе about
How you feel about me than I feel about you
Before I realized what happened, you already broke my hand
That reached out in hopes of getting help from you
Help me get out of it
I can’t keep my head up
Please tell me, how do you feel
I’m drowning in this river
Help me get out of it
'Cause I can’t keep my head above the water
Please tell me, how do you feel
'Cause I’m drowned in this river that’s filled with my sorrows
I drown in this river
I’m drowned in my sorrows
I’m drowned in this river
I’m gone by tomorrow
River of sorrows
Help me get out of it
I can’t keep my head up
Please tell me, how do you feel
I’m drowning in this river

Wait, wait, wait
Don’t leave me
Wait, wait, wait
Don’t leave me
Where you going? Where you going?
Why you leaving?
(Wait)
I can’t lose you, I can’t lose you
Girl I need you, girl I need you
(Wait)
And don’t you love me? Don’t you love me?
Guess you don’t want me, you don’t want me
(Wait)
We back and forth, yeah, this ain’t working, this ain’t working
Love ain’t perfect, love ain’t perfect
I’m holding on to pieces of us
That I just can’t let go
I know this is a desperate kind of love
But it feels like it’s home
Where you going? (Where you going?)
I’m holding on to pieces of us
'Cause I just can’t let go
Wait, wait, wait
Don’t leave me
Wait, wait (wait)
What you thinking? What you thinking?
Where’s your mind at?
(Wait)
Don’t you miss us, don’t you miss us
'Cause you don’t call that, you don’t call that
(Wait)
Are you happy? Tell me are you happy?
Are you smiling? Are you smiling?
(Wait)
Girl what happened? Tell me, girl what happened?
‘Cause I am dying, I am dying
I’m holding on to pieces of us
That I just can’t let go
I know this is a desperate kind of love
But it feels like it’s home
Where you going? (Where you going?)
I’m holding on to pieces of us
‘Cause I just can’t let go
We don’t wanna have a conversation
We don’t wanna think about it, we wanna just fake it
We just wanna act like everything is great
Go back to the day watchin’ movies in the basement
And the problem is now I’m feeling like everything is changed
And I’m trying to make a livin’ on the music
But I feeling every time I look at you I’m in a place
It’s hard to be the man of the house when you ain’t gotta house (I hate this)
It’s complicated, it’s complicated
We don’t wanna talk, it’s complicated
I’m sitting in the hotel room like, “Why?”
Call your phone and apologize
There’s gotta be a way we can make this right
We can make this right
I’m holding on to pieces of us
That I just can’t let go
I know this is a desperate kind of love
But it feels like it’s home
Where you going
I’m holding on to pieces of us
'Cause I just can’t let go
I’m holding on to pieces of us
That I just can’t let go
I know this is a desperate kind of love
But it feels like it’s home
Wait, wait, wait
Don’t leave me
Wait, wait, wait
Don’t leave me

So since I’m not under the constant stress of my mom, Ive been noticing more things about myself and my mental health and things I need to seek a therapist for (Venting and diagnosing)

I have been concerned about me possibly having Autism, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and Dissociation (A symptom of anxiety)

And after talking to a Autistic friend (who’s also very smart btw) He mentioned to me RSD or Rejection Sensitivity disorder… This is a new one and with my research I really feel I resonate with the symptoms of RSD…

I hope my dad and step mom can get me into therapy so I can hopefully be diagnosed and treated and lean how to cope with the mental trauma, Emotional regulation, and just… The meltdowns and Anxiety…

I don’t care what my family has to say about
“just turn to God”
“You just wanna be diagnosed with everything 😒”
“You always want the worse diagnosis”
"You aren’t autistic because my niece… "
"You don’t seem autistic to me! "
“Youre just childish / it’s just hormones”
“God didn’t make you this way”

And so on.
I am looking out for me…
If nobody understands me then so be it… But if they don’t want to help me solve the problem and instead be the problem, then maybe they shouldn’t give me advice at all.

You said my name like it used to mean something
Now it’s just noise in your mouth
I trace the echo in your silence
Tryna find the version of me you love
I still wear the warmth
From the nights you meant it
But it’s colder now
And I’m the only one shivering
If you loved me then, why does it feel like I’m a stranger now?
You built me up just to watch me fall
I’m still bleeding from the words you never said
If you loved me then, why couldn’t you stay?
I see your shadow in every sunrise
But it never turns around
I scream your name into the quiet
But it only answers with doubt
I still wear the scars
Like they’re proof you’re real
But they fade every time I remember you forget me!
If you loved me then, why does it feel like I’m a stranger now?
You built me up just to watch me fall
I’m still bleeding from the words you never said
If you loved me then, why couldn’t you stay?
I gave you every version of me
But you only loved the one you could leave
If you loved me then, don’t pretend I was easy to forget
I’m still screaming in the silence you left
If you loved me then, why does it feel like you never did?

@Raven

what was this freaky era of mine

(still a freak now btw </3)

I was probs on my school computer at that time

@Raven

What the fuck </3

Ts was so long ago

yay (I hate Christmas)