Why do I always need to prove myself to others?
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I don’t understand.
Why do I always have to prove myself to other people?
How many more times do I have to prove myself to be seen?
As a person?
As a musician?
I’m tired.
I’m exhausted.
It doesn’t seem to matter who I meet, I need to prove myself.
Over and over.
With everyone I meet.
I do everything right.
So why?
Why do I have to prove myself?
Why?
Why?
Why?
I’m so tired of it.I’m so tired of having to prove myself.
I’m so tired of bringing myself down to match the levels of others.
I’m so tired of being treated like trash.
I’m so tired…“𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒽𝓊𝓃𝑔𝓇𝓎. 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝒽𝓊𝓃𝑔𝓇𝓎. 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑜𝓇𝓃 𝒽𝓊𝓃𝑔𝓇𝓎. 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒹𝑜 𝐼 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹?
𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔. 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔. 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑜𝓇𝓃 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔. 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝐼 𝒷𝑒?”
-𝑀𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓈𝓀𝒾ִ ࣪𖤐⋆˖⁺‧₊☽-𝔐𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔐𝔬𝔯𝔦-☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ִ ࣪𖤐
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It frustrates me to a level I can’t even put into words.
Why do I have to cry when I’m frustrated?
Why do I have to be like this?
Why am I even here?
I should be out proving myself to someone else, or some bullshit. -
ִ ࣪𖤐⋆˖⁺‧₊☽𝔅𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔞☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ִ ࣪𖤐 nobody should prove themself- unless they did something shitty- which u didn’t
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@Poptart_Yeeter then why do I have to seem to prove myself, no matter who I meet?
Why do I have to do it to be respected, or even seen?
I’m no different from any other person. -
@Poptart_Yeeter So why do they get to be seen at a whim, and I have to work just to be seen?
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ִ ࣪𖤐⋆˖⁺‧₊☽𝔅𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔞☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ִ ࣪𖤐 said in Why do I always need to prove myself to others?:
So why do they get to be seen at a whim, and I have to work just to be seen?
I don’t know-
maybe they’re jelly cuz you’re a good person and they’re not? -
@Poptart_Yeeter but some of them are the best people I’ve ever met.
I don’t understand.
I’m no different.
So why me? -
ִ ࣪𖤐⋆˖⁺‧₊☽𝔅𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔞☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ִ ࣪𖤐 …I don’t know.
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@Poptart_Yeeter that’s what I’m trying to figure out.
Why do I have to be the one who puts in more work than everyone else, and still get the same results?
Why do I have to be the one who’s exhausted, even if I didn’t do anything wrong? -
@Poptart_Yeeter It’s so tiring and mentally and physically draining, and I just can’t keep up sometimes…
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ִ ࣪𖤐⋆˖⁺‧₊☽𝔅𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔞☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ִ ࣪𖤐 I’m sorry-
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@Poptart_Yeeter don’t be sorry. It’s clearly my fault, according to other people. Everything manages to be my fault.
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ִ ࣪𖤐⋆˖⁺‧₊☽𝔅𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔞☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ִ ࣪𖤐 How do you know it’s your fault? Your life consists of toxic people. Usually you can’t change them so just walk away
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@Poptart_Yeeter and leave behind my passion of music? Leave behind my chance to go to State Solo/Small Ensemble? State Large Group? All State?
Naturally, you see my dilemma.
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ִ ࣪𖤐⋆˖⁺‧₊☽𝔅𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔞☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ִ ࣪𖤐 Oh- Well I don’t know what to do- I’m sorry.
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ִ ࣪𖤐⋆˖⁺‧₊☽𝔅𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔞☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ִ ࣪𖤐 That’s like me giving up being a author. it’s not gonna happen
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@Poptart_Yeeter exactly. So unfortunately, because of that, I have to have the toxic people in my life, whether I like it or not. And we kind of have to like each other, because we need to work together as a team for our ensembles to be the best they can be.
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@Poptart_Yeeter even if one of them is basically a fucking criminal. But that’s a different story for a different day. Or for the DMs if you’re that curious, because I don’t remember if I’ve told you about him.
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ִ ࣪𖤐⋆˖⁺‧₊☽𝔅𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔞☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ִ ࣪𖤐 said in Why do I always need to prove myself to others?:
. Or for the DMs if you’re that curious,
u havent told me about him but its good if u dont wanna
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@Poptart_Yeeter I can lmao. I will out this man literally every chance I get.
