I feel really invalidated, and that my mom isn't letting me defend myself, and now I'm grounded.

I have an issue with picking at scabs, especially from old acne or something similar.
The feeling of them just bothers me, so I pick them off.
Yes, this does cause it to take longer to heal, which in turn causes me to pick at them more.
Sometimes, I just sit and pick at them in the bathroom for minutes on end, sometimes losing track of time.
Except my mom gets really pissy at me when I do it.
I was doing it again tonight after dinner for a little bit and she asked me what I was doing.
I told her I went to the bathroom (which was true), and just kind of sat there. (Which was also true, for a moment.)
She didn’t believe me. I told her that I wasn’t fucking lying, which technically I wasn’t.
I didn’t want to tell her about the picking because I knew she’d get upset about it.
She still didn’t believe me.
Eventually I told her, and she got pissed.
She said I need to knock it off.
I tried to tell her that I wasn’t doing anything else, and she kept shutting me down and calling me a fucking liar.
And now because I didn’t fucking tell her, I’m grounded from my phone. I don’t know for how long. (I guess it’s a damn good thing I don’t go on here on my phone, and I’m on my laptop.)
But now, she’s probably going to go through my phone and find out I have a boyfriend, and then get pissed I haven’t told her yet. (It’s been a month. We’ve been dating for a month.)
I’m fucking livid.
She hardly goes through my phone.
Only when I’m grounded.
That’s it.
No other time.
All I did was not tell her I was skin picking, because I always get shut down when I try to explain myself.
Whenever I try to explain myself or defend myself (like I was taught to do: “don’t be a pushover. defend yourself.”), I get told I’m fucking arguing and backtalking.
So fuck my life, I guess.

TL;DR: I feel invalidated because my mom claims I’m a liar, when in reality, I just don’t feel safe enough to tell her the truth, so now I’m grounded from my phone and she’s probably going to find out about my boyfriend of a month.

Blake

@Your-Local-Ghostface-Simp im sorry bro- my mom doed the same thing but with my nail biting habit AND UR MOM TELLS U TO STAND UP FOR URSELF MY MOM SAYS WOMEN BELONG IN THE KITCHEN, SILENT (at home i go by female pronouns-)

Blake said in I feel really invalidated, and that my mom isn't letting me defend myself, and now I'm grounded.:

my mom doed the same thing but with my nail biting habit

bro me too- that’s something I’m trying to break too, but I’ve been doing it for nearly 10 years (i’m 16 now, so take that into account), and it’s hard. I do really good and then something happens and I pick or bite at my nails and she gets pissed when she sees it. She basically keeps guilt tripping me by showing me how infected fingers can get, or how they have to get surgery because they got fucked up too much and it pisses me off. I don’t intentionally do it.

Blake and what’s even worse, is when my dad said that I just need to stop arguing, I said that I wasn’t arguing, I was telling her what I was doing and that I wasn’t lying, and then he got pissy at me for a minute.
(My mom hates lying, so she things that I was lying, so now I’m grounded.)

Blake

@Your-Local-Ghostface-Simp ‘omigod your gonna get a infevtion’ ‘ohmigod just stop it its not that hard!!!’ BITCH IT IS THAT HARD. SHE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND CUZ SHE DOESN’T DO THAT

Blake

@Your-Local-Ghostface-Simp said in I feel really invalidated, and that my mom isn't letting me defend myself, and now I'm grounded.:

Blake and what’s even worse, is when my dad said that I just need to stop arguing, I said that I wasn’t arguing, I was telling her what I was doing and that I wasn’t lying, and then he got pissy at me for a minute.
(My mom hates lying, so she things that I was lying, so now I’m grounded.)

. . . Yup. my mom reports whatever i did to my dad. (he’s dead now but like still- with my stepmom too-)

Blake EXACTLY!
My mom grew up in a really toxic household–her mom was an abusive narcissist, and her dad was just as bad, so it was a really toxic household, so I’m pretty sure she picked up some of that shit from her parents, even though she claims that she’s trying to break the trauma cycle, when she’s not. She just keeps it going somedays, and I know that eventually I’m probably going to need fucking therapy because of it.

Blake oh, she doesn’t report it to him, he was just there and heard everything.

Blake

@Your-Local-Ghostface-Simp same. she says she tries but she never succeeds. Lowkey i used to do sh a LOT. recovering now thank goodness. but my mom fr makes me wanna crash put-

Blake

Blake out*

Blake

@Your-Local-Ghostface-Simp Damn.

Blake I’ve never sh’d, but the amount of times I’ve thought about it and then mentally hit myself because I know I have no real reason to is…insane.

Blake she’s legit threatened to put me in therapy when we have our arguments. I don’t need it now, but I might if she keeps this shit up, and I don’t like that idea. I don’t want to go to therapy.

Blake

@Your-Local-Ghostface-Simp …the amunt of times where i would sit on my floor and miniaclly cry-laugh out of pain…(mentlly) ~~we both need help-~~

Blake

@Your-Local-Ghostface-Simp …mine threatened me to put me in a mental clinic and never come back. With a kn!fe to my throat.

Blake oh! CPS?

Blake

Blake help why is my english so broken- ‘miniclly’

Blake except I can’t do that. Not safely, anyway. We have a one-floor house, and my room (because our house is so small) is the dining room. I don’t even have a door, I have a set of black-out curtains hanging up in the arch.

Blake

@Your-Local-Ghostface-Simp i would but- i’m fuckin’ scared. what if i end up in a worse situation than im already in-?

I feel really invalidated, and that my mom isn't letting me defend myself, and now I'm grounded.

8

1.0k

61.1k

546.0k