Good news..i am not dead.
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I decided to postpone my attempt… I tried to do it but I couldn’t bring myself to do so.
I just ended up crying silently until I slept.
I have a scheduled doctors visit in August for therapy… I personally think that’s too far… But I’m not picky I guess…
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I’m glad you’re alive. From what I’ve seen here, a lot of people didn’t want you to commit to it, and a lot of people care about you. I think that it’s good that you’re getting professional help, it’s a step towards a better place and a better space of mind. Therapy is never too far or too extreme. I hope things go well for you and therapy helps. We don’t want to lose you.

