Got suspended from school yesterday. (TW ;; Self Harm, Etc)

[yawnzzn]

I recently had stuff going on at home, which you guys known since 2023. but it was recently worse. so at school in second period, I was secretly unscrewing a pencil sharpener and used the…razor blade on myself under the desk. A girl I’m friends with (who was " The silly one " on here before my BSF dessa took over) saw me doing it and was doing it to herself too. then did it to me as well. we were joking over our trauma but we were soon caught due to the small amounts of blood on the floor. We were then suspended n our parents got called. My mom thought about sending me back to the mental hospital (Mind you, the one I go to has people fighting, getting R@ped, Mainly dying, and more dangerous stuff.) So the thought of sending me back is already insane instead of asking me if I was okay. I never talked to my therapist about it, even though I genuinely need to seek help and get myself.out this horrible place I call home.
I am not okay. And I need to seek help. And before anybody says its my fault, I know it is. I know I shouldn’t have cut myself, but it was literally the only best option…The memories and flashbacks kept flooding in my head so I just cut and cut.

I really need help.

[KayaRoseWho]

Yeonjun 𝜗ৎ . I’m not good at helping but I’m here to listen. It will get better. I understand this feeling and such, you r not alone. I suggest trying to find other way to stop doing it. See if you are able to get silicone stress thingy I forgot what it’s called but the silicone and has spikes on it and you squeeze it and it gives you that feeling but like it doesn’t hurt you and it doesn’t like do anything if you know what I mean.

[ayin]

Yeonjun 𝜗ৎ . okay but quick question, why the fuck are you self harming IN SCHOOL of all places. you could’ve done it anywhere else even. not saying this is invalidation but you genuinely need to have a reality check.
i feel a mental hospital WILL help you get back on your feet unless your experiences there are terrible but again, i’ve never truly been in one and i researched how it looks/feels like. even your therapist will probably recommend it for you

stay safe but dude please just not do that somewhere where someone may have a fear of blood (hemophobia) or wounds (?phobia) you’re weird for that shit