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[Flip Ditcher]

Oh boy, you know it’s serious when I have to bust out the proper capitalization, punctuation, and grammar!
So, there’s this guy I’ve been friends with since the 7th grade who is… somehow weirder than me. I don’t mean the, “Oh, he’s a bit awkward but starts to open up when you get to know him,” kinda weird. I mean the, “SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS,” kinda weird. What I mean by that is… uh… how do I say this in a way that doesn’t make me look bad by affiliation… uh… Ooh, I got it! It’s typical ‘middle school boys friend group’ humor. Y’know, the kind that you see referenced in memes on YouTube Shorts that were made by orchestra kids (and I mean that with full offense because band kids are better)? Recently, and by recently, I mean 10:00 this morning, this friend texted in our big friend groupchat, and I quote,

Saturday, February 10th
“Apparently it’s fine for minors to like/date other minors”
“But if one minor grows up and KEEPS their ‘preferences’”
“They’re ap[arently the worst kind of person in the world”
“And that’s why all relationships should be allowed as long as it is actually consensual” - 10:38 AM
“Thanks for coming to my tedtalk” - 10:39 AM

A few hours later, I then texted,
“Please tell me you’re joking” - 4:19 PM

He then responds with
“This is why ppl get into so much trouble from genuinely wanting to be with someone older or younger”

THEN, me and this other friend in the group chat (who will be referred to as Dave) start pressing him about it. We’ll refer to the weird friend as Alan.
M: Me
A: Alan
D: Dave
Got it? Good, 'cause here’s the rest of the convo that took place from 4:26 PM to 4:31 PM.

M: The problem isn’t that somebody wants to date somebody older or younger
D: You told me you watch a h####i about children btw
M: The problem is that younger person is a minor
D: They looked 5 btw
The problem is he likes Elementary School kids
M: Right
A: Im not even attracted to real ppl lmao
D: That… doesn’t make it bet
Better
M: Oh sorry
D: You’re literally watching Child P###
M: Lemme rephrase for Dave
The problem is that he likes what WOULD be Elementary School
kids
D: Just because they’re not real doesn’t make you not a p########
M: Right
That’s like shooting somebody and then saying “Well I didn’t kill him, the BULLET did”
A: Well its not
This specific situation is
But
My main point was my initial arguement
D: Basically you’re weird as hell
In a very bad way
A: Basically

Let me tell you a funky lil’ story. Allow me to weave you into a world where you’re in my shoes. Alan calls me one day, on the road and bored, and we talk on call for a good hour. At some point, he tells me to look up something. Of course, I’m skeptical to do so and I don’t. I’m not gonna say what he told me to look up because, one, I don’t remember how to spell it and I’m not going through multiple dead group chats just to find it, and two, because, come to find out, it’s h####i about literal children. Like, twelve year-olds, I believe. Keep in mind that everybody in the group chat is fifteen years-old as of today. Again, I feel like, because of his way of thinking and… well, you read the conversation, I feel like I NEED to cut him off and end out friendship. Please, somebody help me make this decision in the replies… that is, if this post doesn’t get deleted by mods for some reason that I’m too lazy to think of. Thanks freading and please leave any input you have in the replies. Any advice is welcome.

[OY.SSTUFF]

Okay but you know
||no ones weirder than you. Absolutely no one||

[Flip Ditcher]

OY.SSTUFF he is

[OY.SSTUFF]

Flip Ditcher sorry I didn’t read the whole thing :/

[OY.SSTUFF]

Flip Ditcher ur still very weird

[A Former User]

Flip Ditcher i hope he ain’t still your friend

…has he ever-

interacted with a youngling like that before?

[Flip Ditcher]

@Cawwie not that i know of, no