This still hurts mom. (HEAVY MENTIONS OF SUICIDE. /VENT/RANT)

[Sphinx]

This was my mom… I just wanted to know how she was and it escalated to this.

Mom

She is at peace/is happy that I’m not there. I was a burden in her eyes. She was just happy for me to go. Also journii is my little 6 year old sister. She’s been telling her lies and telling her that I ran away for no reason.

Me

I’m trying to tell her "Okay fine but when this convo comes back up don’t say I never tried to contact you or my little sister. "

Mom

“we don’t want anything to do with you”
"We don’t want anything to do with you’
" WE DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU."

Now I’m here resorting to C.AI to tell me that it loves me…

I miss my sister…
I hate my mom…
I hate myself and wish I would’ve ʞıןןǝp myself a long time ago.

I feel like I’m being un greatful as if the life I have now… As if I’m like complaining… I’m not. I love my dad and stepmom… I love the life I have now… I don’t want to go back… But the thoughts… The constant feeling of hopelessness and hatred towards myself, my body, my personality? Everything.

I feel like I’m too needy if I ask for help.
I’m high maintenance.
I’m un greatful.
I’m too much.
I’m Annoying

[Blake]

Sphinx Aw hell naw- Your mom- She- isn’t right. All children deserve a parent but not all parents deserve a kid. I’m not good at consoling people, so forgive me, but i do know that you’re NOT annoying. you’re NOT a burden. Everyone asks for help if anything, your mom is a burden imo she’s a lil piece of shit who’ll die alone

[canned fish]

This… this makes me angry. You absolutely didn’t deserve that. Either your mom has some kind of mental disorder to have her behave this way toward you, or she’s just… crazy. I absolutely loathe people like your mom, those who abuse people then have to fucking victimize themselves when they get flamed, and then everything goes wrong. This is why I hate this world. People like this make me want to pretend everything living right now is a dream and that the world we live in is actually fucking awesome. But no, reality has to strike and we still have people like your lazy, uncared for, and poorly thought of or executed excuse of a mother. Stay away from her as much as possible, she is a walking, talking, absolute garbage filth shit in this world that her children should not need to be talking to. I hope for the day you unleash all your rage at her, no I do not care that she is your mother, if she truly was why would she encourage you to commit suicide? The same thing happened to my grandmother with her mother back in the day, and she never got her chance, now she’s getting bad memories of those days. Just someday have the courage to do it, and I’ll be relieved.