Mom (TW S////DAL thoughts)

[Sphinx]

@Vent-group @Therapists @Therapy-needs
So recently, My mom has been… Horrible.

She downloaded a life 360 Like app on my phone that bugs out sometimes.

And onetime it downloaded tiktok on my phone. She thought It was me doing it BUT I couldn’t have done it because the google playstore was blocked and even looking up the word “Tiktok” On google was blocked. So couldn’t have done it. But she used this logic and the same logic she uses ALL THE TIME “Well I didn’t do it, your father (Stepdad) didn’t do it, your sister OBVIOUSLY didn’t do it, and your phone COULDN’T Have POSSIBLY done it on it’s own (It could). SO THAT LEAVES YOU.” She even stood there and made me confess that I did THEN Tell her WHY I LIED when I DIDN’T??

She’s used that saying yesterday too. There was a watered down hairspray and she was asking around who did it, I said I didn’t after everyone else said they didn’t and she said “Who did then” and I said “I don’t know” and she said “when I saw it last it had more product in it AND wasn’t watery” She used the same logic… Counting everyone down and leaving me last. So it was ME. when it wasn’t.

She then took my phone and said I wasn’t going to get it back until I tell her what my motives are. she want’s to know… WHY DO I LIE.

Like Idk??? then when I tell her the truth about her wanting to switch my words because she knows me and she knows how forgetful I am even in a simple convo… Then she switches it back saying “You wanna blame everyone but yourself”

She even made me lie about something… Horrible. She told me WHAT TO WRITE for my statement on what happened and said “Don’t tell anyone I helped you with this.”

I’m glad I will stay with my real dad this Christmas break (2 weeks)… I won’t tell him everything, In fear that he’ll tell my mom… but I’ll tell him how I feel.

Some extra stuff…

My mom doesn’t understand that sometimes I get frustrated at the smallest things like change. I got mad yesterday because my blanket had holes that was constantly ripping at my every move. And sometimes I don’t even know how I feel. I just feel… Mad. But I can’t put it to words, music, writing, or drawing. My dad gets me though so I’ll be telling him about that. He already knows that I might’ve gotten ADD/ASD From him since he has ADD. My mom doesn’t understand me no matter how much I talk about it, She always says “You’re like me so this is how I delt with it.” And It’s always some bullshit like, “You need tougher skin and that’s all” IT never fucking works.

Oh and a few weeks ago she made me look like a nutcase to my dad, good thing my dad knows how much she overscales stuff…

She said I was “HEARING VOICES” like I was crazy or some shit??

I told him I was but not in the way he thinks, I was having S.T or S////DAL thoughts.

OH AND (I keep remembering shit) she doesn’t believe I have ADD or ASD because “I’m fine” and “I’m capable and smart” as if I did I would be stupid. Also because “God didn’t make me that way” As If it’s a punishment for those who do???

OHHH ANNNDDDD she has to approve almost every art piece I make. If she doesn’t like it, I have to RIP IT, THROW IT AWAY, and START OVER. she doesn’t do that anymore though, just the “I don’t like it” part. It makes me feel like nothing I do will impress her or will make her proud. All of my art is nothingness. Just demonic pieces of Shit that I waist time on. (She called some of the demonic) The only person… That has ever said “I’m proud of you” EVERY TIME I show them my work, is my dad. MY REAL Dad.

If you have anything… You can say it here, I don’t mind advice.
I can’t take it I feel crazy… Is she being manipulative,?

Here’s some research I took on being impulsive which I am ALMOST EVERY DAY. sometimes I don’t have a motive to things I do like Lying. It just HAPPENS before any thought.

It’s also ANOTHER reason why I possibly have ADD/ASD.

[Bandit]

Fuck… I’m so sorry that your mother is like that. Some people just shouldn’t be parents… It doesn’t help that her incompetence is hurting you and your life. I hope things get better for you. If you need anyone to vent to further about it, I’m here