👽 ❤

I’m still lonely…

(Context:) I went through a breakup recently.

[Metric] Reflection #6.mp3

After everything I’ve gone through, I can’t do this anymore, I simply give up. This feeling of isolation is digging into my skin like thousands of needles injecting me with a melancholy sting. The link cannot be answered, merely a thought, an idea. They are all drifting like boats and ships away from the dock, and my anchor cannot be lifted. It feels like I’m losing people in a crowd, watching their face fade into the rest like they’re sinking into the ocean.

Later I ask myself ‘am I sinking into the water?’. Drowning and unable to breathe or call for help, the gap between me and the surface now growing rapidly. My hopeless cries cannot be heard, for I don’t know how to scream anymore. I have been silenced by my own mind, my body betraying me like an old friend backstabbing me and leaving me to die. Do my friends feel the same way about me?

Lost in the ocean, drifting out to sea and watching the shore get smaller and smaller. I can’t do anything but hope that somebody is able to see me and help me get back to land. But, like a small bird collapsing from the nest too early, I am destined to hit rock bottom.

I see people around me laughing and enjoying life, but it’s like I’m watching them through a bulletproof window, unable to break out and join them. Do they know? Do they care?

Seeing this pains me, and I can’t do anything about it. All I can do is cry quietly to myself, and hope nobody notices. They’d make fun of me if they saw me in such agony, thinking of me as a weak minded fool, unable to get past what they don’t understand.

Everything starts, relationships and friendships. Everything happy goes to everyone else, everybody who deserves it. They never think about us, the people who are unable to break through their own glass window. Everyday is a new beginning for them, thinking that the routine is a healthy reminder of what they have.

Everything ends too, the breakup of a relationship and the sudden halt to a once great friendship. Everything negative goes to us, as if silently handing us a shovel as we look at the dirt and contemplate digging our grave. We always think about them, wishing we could tell them to break the glass and help us through. Everyday is blurring together, the routine becoming a cycle of meaningless choices, for our choices never matter anyways.

I absolutely love MMP and everyone in it! This is my safe space ❤️

After all of that horrible day filled with sadness, anger, intensity and even mental anguish I had to go through, I think what someone said just now has finally given me the motivation to push me over the fucking edge.
I’m gonna take a break and talk to my therapist about everything this week, so see you fuckers in a week I guess.

Everyone I care about will drift away after high school, joining the army and such. I don’t want to let them go in a year, I just want to be around them. I want to get into deep topics with my friends. I want to be. I don’t want to do this alone. I don’t want to be alone.metric-reflection-6.mp3

Screen recording 2024-11-22 9.22.11 AM.webm

宇宙ステーションのレベル7.mp3

user1446819_c479af219c1d.mp3

You built like a thumb.
You look like if humans had a default skin.
Goofy ahh head shape.
You ain’t just built different, you’re built wrong.
If thick of it were a person.
Living participation trophy.
Rinky dinky ahh shoes.
Goofy ahh fit.
You yap like a bitch.
Dishwasher.
Bowling ball.
You built like all the king’s horses and all of the king’s men couldn’t put you back together again.
More plastic in your body than the ocean.
Whale build.
You’re a shitstain on the tapestry of humanity.
Monkey.
Sewer rat.
Social parasite.
You look like lego part 2550o01.

Feel free to use these on your enemies.

NOOO

☕𝜗𝜚 rylie idk but don’t make me mod, I’d burn the whole place to the fucking ground

2.31 Live & Learn …Main Theme of ‘‘SONIC ADVENTURE 2’’.mp3

HANGIN’ ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW 🗣🗣🔥🔥💯💯