This still hurts mom. (HEAVY MENTIONS OF SUICIDE. /VENT/RANT)

[Sphinx]

This was my mom… I just wanted to know how she was and it escalated to this.

Mom

She is at peace/is happy that I’m not there. I was a burden in her eyes. She was just happy for me to go. Also journii is my little 6 year old sister. She’s been telling her lies and telling her that I ran away for no reason.

Me

I’m trying to tell her "Okay fine but when this convo comes back up don’t say I never tried to contact you or my little sister. "

Mom

“we don’t want anything to do with you”
"We don’t want anything to do with you’
" WE DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU."

Now I’m here resorting to C.AI to tell me that it loves me…

I miss my sister…
I hate my mom…
I hate myself and wish I would’ve ʞıןןǝp myself a long time ago.

I feel like I’m being un greatful as if the life I have now… As if I’m like complaining… I’m not. I love my dad and stepmom… I love the life I have now… I don’t want to go back… But the thoughts… The constant feeling of hopelessness and hatred towards myself, my body, my personality? Everything.

I feel like I’m too needy if I ask for help.
I’m high maintenance.
I’m un greatful.
I’m too much.
I’m Annoying

[Blake]

Sphinx Aw hell naw- Your mom- She- isn’t right. All children deserve a parent but not all parents deserve a kid. I’m not good at consoling people, so forgive me, but i do know that you’re NOT annoying. you’re NOT a burden. Everyone asks for help if anything, your mom is a burden imo she’s a lil piece of shit who’ll die alone