👽 ❤

[Metric] Reflection #6.mp3

After everything I’ve gone through, I can’t do this anymore, I simply give up. This feeling of isolation is digging into my skin like thousands of needles injecting me with a melancholy sting. The link cannot be answered, merely a thought, an idea. They are all drifting like boats and ships away from the dock, and my anchor cannot be lifted. It feels like I’m losing people in a crowd, watching their face fade into the rest like they’re sinking into the ocean.

Later I ask myself ‘am I sinking into the water?’. Drowning and unable to breathe or call for help, the gap between me and the surface now growing rapidly. My hopeless cries cannot be heard, for I don’t know how to scream anymore. I have been silenced by my own mind, my body betraying me like an old friend backstabbing me and leaving me to die. Do my friends feel the same way about me?

Lost in the ocean, drifting out to sea and watching the shore get smaller and smaller. I can’t do anything but hope that somebody is able to see me and help me get back to land. But, like a small bird collapsing from the nest too early, I am destined to hit rock bottom.

I see people around me laughing and enjoying life, but it’s like I’m watching them through a bulletproof window, unable to break out and join them. Do they know? Do they care?

Seeing this pains me, and I can’t do anything about it. All I can do is cry quietly to myself, and hope nobody notices. They’d make fun of me if they saw me in such agony, thinking of me as a weak minded fool, unable to get past what they don’t understand.

Everything starts, relationships and friendships. Everything happy goes to everyone else, everybody who deserves it. They never think about us, the people who are unable to break through their own glass window. Everyday is a new beginning for them, thinking that the routine is a healthy reminder of what they have.

Everything ends too, the breakup of a relationship and the sudden halt to a once great friendship. Everything negative goes to us, as if silently handing us a shovel as we look at the dirt and contemplate digging our grave. We always think about them, wishing we could tell them to break the glass and help us through. Everyday is blurring together, the routine becoming a cycle of meaningless choices, for our choices never matter anyways.

I absolutely love MMP and everyone in it! This is my safe space ❤️

I’m still lonely…

(Context:) I went through a breakup recently.

Everyone I care about will drift away after high school, joining the army and such. I don’t want to let them go in a year, I just want to be around them. I want to get into deep topics with my friends. I want to be. I don’t want to do this alone. I don’t want to be alone.metric-reflection-6.mp3

bet

Duchess (in memory of duchess)

• like vapor, but with glowing royal purple instead of cyan

Frog

• various shades of green (ribbits when blank spaces are clicked)

Lover

• valentine’s day colors

Ocean

• deep blues

Infina

• gray colors with glowing orange highlights

Piano

• mostly white with black sections around white glowing text (they play a random piano note when interacted with

Rain

• grayish blue / drained blue (always plays looping rain sounds)

Blueberries are FUCKIN PURPLE!@!@!@!

Blake gyattspeed made me laugh more than it should’ve

It’s okay, you’ll get through this, babe… You always do…

Violently, he rips open Bill’s ribcage with a crowbar found in his open garage. Bill’s wife of 49 years, Martha, rushes into the house, desperately trying to inform the authorities on the phone. But it’s too late, Martha is forced to watch him rip apart her husband. And for what purpose? To drink the scarlet honey from Bill’s wounds. He is arrested before he can fully break into the house. Due to his bloodlust, his desperation leads him to have a similar pain tolerance as the symptom of meth, and breaks his own wrist to get out of the handcuffs.

After a failed attempt at eating an officer in the cop car, he is shot and killed in the streets.

I’m infina’ing it

Voice

Ah, yes… Memories… Memories of my invasion of mppc…

I used to have such a smooth face, wtf happened to me?

Nice