I think the color is beautiful. Hypnotizing.
Light redβs fine, but iβve always prefered my red deep.
maybe thatβs why i cut myself. The pretty colors seeping out of my skin in clean cuts distracts me from my stress for a moment. it feels like a prize. but if i cut too deep, i donβt stop bleeding for a while, and thatβs bad.
I havenβt relapsed in a few weeks.
the scars are fading. i need new ones.
the thoughts are coming back. more frequent.
itβs not like iβm trying to quit. I canβt. I could if i wanted to, but itβs my cry for help. my sick cry for help. i need someone to see. anyone. and realize how much iβm hurting.
iβm broken, and iβve learned to accept that.
i forgot to state, but i do not want/expect any sort of pity/comfort. i just- wanted to get it out.
