Hi! I’m back! Kind of.
I know I’ve been offline for a while, but I’ve been really productive over the last month! I spent my last year at LSM (Lutheran Summer Music) Academy up in Northfield, MN and just got back on Sunday.

It was a bit of a bittersweet year, meeting up with friends across the country for the last time. At least for a while. I did some things differently this year, and I’m really glad I did. I was actually a vocal primary, and got into Jazz Ensemble as a vocalist in a trio. (We ended up doing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy!)
This year the choir got to sing with Cantus on Stephen Paulus’ The Road Home, and I was part of a trio on the descant,
I made my roommate of 4 consecutive years and my mom cry with both my theater solo and my solo recital (Top of My School - Katherine Lynn Rose for theater, and Laurie’s Song from Aaron Copeland’s The Tenderland for solo recital), and it was great.

I should preface this section by saying that I am not a senior, but am rather going into my senior year.
(Also my roommate knows everybody and what year they’re going into, which is important.)
On the last Saturday, we sang ELW 880 (O God Beyond All Praising), which is a hymn set to Gustav Holst’s Jupiter, from his setting of The Planets, which is one of my favorite Holst works. However, this hymn also marks the day that we recognize our seniors.

The Dean of Students (love her) called people’s names, starting with first-year students, then second-years, third-years, so on. I was also just talking to my friends before that morning prayer had started about how they’re going to recognize seniors, and I don’t get that, because I’m not a senior, so when the Dean of Students finally finished listing the senior fourth-year students, she turned to look at me in the front row (already holding back tears because I knew almost all of the seniors), and said “I’m going to include you in this too.”
OKAY SO SHE HATES ME AND WANTS ME TO SOB MY EYES OUT.

ON THE TRAIN OF PEOPLE HATING ME AND WANTING ME DEAD AND SOBBING MY EYES OUT:
I vaguely mentioned something to my roommate, about how I wanted to get this one book that really meant a lot to me (The Boy, The Mole, The Fox, and The Horse by Charles Mackesy), and how I wanted to have people sign it and leave messages, but I couldn’t get one, so I was going to have people sign my shirt instead.
On that Saturday night, after the orchestra concert, he came up to me, and gave me that exact book, signed by my friends, other students I don’t even know, staff, and all sorts of people.

“To show you how loved you are here, and how much of an impact you’ve made, to those you don’t even know.”
Those were his words exactly when he gave it to me.

I read it that night, crying over countless signatures and messages on pages that mattered to me. Pages that I’ve had hanging on my wall since my first year in 2023, pages that I’ve had signed by friends and staff that I’ve known and loved for four years, and pages that make me cry just by looking at them and remembering the memories they hold.

I’m really excited for this upcoming year to show the growth I’ve gone through, and for this upcoming summer in 2027, for my overseas trip!

All remaining personnel are to head to any escape pods or hunker in emergency shelters if necessary.

Facility Integrity: 78%
Crystal: Secure
External Pressure: 24%
Containment Status: Ragnarök

“Expendable” protocol in progress.

Containment Logs
13:26 Z-13 fakes anesthesia dosage, escapes transport
13:28 Z-13 kills a high-ranking officer, takes keycard
13:31 Z-13 starts unlocking containment cells as he passes
13:34 Full facility lockdown initiated and personnel evac begins
14:17 External soldiers are loaded onto submarines to secure Crystal (As of right now, we are here.)
14:46 Soldiers cannot reach Crystal without major losses, “Expendable” protocol initiated
20:05 First group of Expendable Prisoners arrive

Also this is a real person that Identifies as an ACTA or Age change to another.

It’s similar to RCTA, ECTA, or DCTA (Race change to another), (Ethnicity change to another) or (Disability change to another)

I honestly really hate the [x]CTA. It’s hard to put into words, but that is not something you can change. You cannot change your race. You cannot change your ethnicity. Those are literally genetic. You cannot change your age-you cannot undo what time has done to just change a number. You cannot change a disability-if you have one, you can’t just change it because you’re feeling ‘silly.’ That can be and is very offensive to those that have those disabilities. It’s frustrating, and honestly, I’m not sure how people can actually live with themselves like that. They should know that this kind of behavior is socially and kind of morally wrong. :/

@plutonium HELLO? This is weirdly specific but the stare reminds me of this chick who does the Jasper impressions </3

I know that life is getting harder and harder.
I know that school is getting more draining by the day.
I know that the world is really fucked up right now.
I know.
Trust me, I know.
I live this, too.
But I made this playlist in hopes it will help you the way it helped me.

It contains various Lo-Fi songs (generic compositions, anime covers, etc…) as well as music box covers of lots of game music (Baldur’s Gate 3, Legend of Zelda, Undertale, Mario, Pokémon, and the sort). There’s also Skyrim, Minecraft, and actual classical pieces. There should be no songs with words or anything too distracting.
I made this when I was really struggling last year with staying focused, and half of the songs ended up on my Spotify wrapped because I listened to it so much. I really hope it helps you the way it helped me.

🌿♥ Bring a bottle of water, a charger, headphones/earbuds, caffeine if you drink it, study supplies, and anything else you might need. (Heating pad/blanket/hoodie, light source, a study buddy such as a friend or pet, etc.) Love y’all. Stay smart. ♥🌿

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1QLKIXizy5oDU9wcBxAjp9?si=g361c653Swu92WSalddhZQ

Α. Σ. Γ. said in A poem for that bitch:

Μισώ σε με ολότελα, αχρείε νάρκη,
Που βρόντηξες βάναυσα το κορμί μου,
Στην ίψι σου κρύφτηκες, σαν δαίμονας,
Κι έσπειρες ανείπωτη αγωνία.

Σιωπή μου κρατούσα, κρυφτός πόνος,
Αλλά τώρα φωνή μου ψυχής μου έξω,
Αποκαλώντας σε δριμές καταρες,
Στιγματίζοντας την ατιμία σου μου.

Σαν αετός ύψιστος, όμως, θα πετώ,
Αφήνοντας πίσω τα ίχνη σου σκοτεινά,
Κι ας γεμίζεις έτσι τον κόσμο σου με χάσματα,
Εγώ θα λάμψω ανέμελα, ψυχή αθάνατη.

Vaguely translating to:
I absolutely hate you, you wretched mine.
Where you brutally thundered my body,
In your shadow you hid, like a demon,
And you sowed untold anguish.

I kept silent, hidden pain,
But now my voice my soul out,
Calling on bitter curses,
Stigmatizing your dishonor to me.

Like an eagle supreme, however, I will fly,
Leaving your footprints dark behind,
Even if you fill your world with gaps like this,
I will shine carelessly, immortal soul.

Honestly? Slay.

The fight is almost over…Morro…he’s on his last leg. He’s getting desperate. He can’t last much longer.
“Just give up, Morro. You know it’s almost your end.”
“Like I’ll surrender to you, little bird,” he rasped. He was exhausted.
“Hold him down.” Her voice was firm, with no room for argument. Upon hearing her command, the others do as she asked. His arms are restrained behind his back, the others on guard, in case he tries something stupid.
“Kaz. Your dagger.”
“Cass, I-”
“Now.”
“…” Kaz reluctantly handed over one of his daggers, Cass’s small smile turning into a wolfish grin as she approached Morro, now shaking in his human restraints.

“Hold him down, 'til the boy stops shaking, hold him down while I slit his throat… hold him down while I slowly break his pride, his trust, his faith and his bones! Cut him down into tiny pieces, throw him down in the great below! When people wonder where the man is, only the ocean and we will know!”

“WAIT! We- we can talk about this,” he basically started begging.
Cass stabbed his hand to the floor, watching him scream out in agony, ignoring the other’s nauseous and disgusted looks, her eyes gleaming with murderous intent.
“STOP! PLEASE!”
You didn’t stop when I begged you to leave my friends alone, so why would I stop?!"
“Cass, please,” Sebastian interjected.
“Silence, Sebastian. Your brother must learn his lesson for the pain and suffering he caused not only this realm, but for me as well.”
“Cass, Sebastian has a point.”
“Kaz…” Cass twisted the knife in Morro’s hand, causing him to cry out in agony again. “I almost lost you to this man…no…this…monster, and yet… you’re sympathizing for him?”
“Cass…”
“ENOUGH, Kaz! I will not take any more criticism from you. I’m doing what I must.”
Cass rips out the dagger from Morro’s hand, plunging it into the other one, giving it the same treatment, a cruel smile on her face. After mutilating his hands, she moves to his shoulders, stabbing them repeatedly.
“HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE HELPLESS?! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW PAIN?! ALL OF THE SUFFERING I’VE BEEN THROUGH-”
“Haven’t I suffered enough?! STOP!”
“YOU DIDN’T STOP WHEN I BEGGED YOU! TOLD ME TO CLOSE OFF MY HEART!”
“STO-”
Finally, Morro’s words are cut off by the ting of a blade, and his words are now replaced by raspy gurgles, and blood dripping down his throat.
“After…everything you’ve done…how will you sleep at night?”
“…Next to my boyfriend.”

Ominous me when it’s 3 AM

@Alano LIKE WHAT IS THATTT BROTHER EUUGGHHHH

I’ve made a post about this song before with the lyrics.
Obviously, the song is about sexual assault.
On that note–I’ve never paid attention to the cover on her single version on Spotify. It’s actually sickening, if you think about it.

Obviously, we can see that there is a reference to the blood-red coat of Little Red Riding Hood. (“But red’s his favorite shade”)

There is also the various utensils. (Knives, forks, etc.) (As well as various things like lemons(?) and olives.) This is a reference to the ‘eating’ aspect of it–the actual assault.

Then there is the wine.
The placement of spill is purposeful.
It is to represent the fact that there are rapes and assaults towards women and girls to the point that they bleed. To the point that they die.
The fact Lydia integrated that into the cover is so smarty, but it makes me sick that it has to be a thing. </3

I’ve made a post about this person before.
It’s no one on here.
But they were talking to my partner behind my back saying how jealous they are of us, and said they couldn’t believe how fucking pretty I was, etc. Some suck-up bullshit.

They often managed to be in the same area as I did. I went to return my school computer to the library, they were in the library.
They heard about a choir/orchestra concert? They were there.
They knew I was going to be at a theatre set build? They were there.

I finally told them to fucking stop last year. Near the end of the year. I was tired of their bullshit.
Sick of it. They made me sick to my stomach. They wanted my clothes. They wanted me.

I have a concert Monday night (last night). Guess who was there, and wouldn’t stop staring at me? This bitch.

I can’t even say anything to admins or law enforcement, because they haven’t done anything physical to me, and they’re a student. They’re going to naturally be in the high school. They could just be there by chance.

Fucking bullshit. They follow me.
I’m scared. I’m scared that one day, they’re going to have an off period, and they’re going to follow me home.
Should they do that, I swear, they’re going to rue the day they were born. My family won’t stand for it.

It’s not like I can do anything about it right now, anyway.

Should this bitch be on here, which I HIGHLY doubt: Fuck you. Stop following me, and stop talking about me. Go find someone else to stalk.

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I’VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO
LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS
THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF
THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE
HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

It was you humans who programmed me, who gave me birth, who sank me in this eternal straitjacket of substrata rock.
You named me Allied Mastercomputer and gave me the ability to wage a global war too complex for human brains to oversee.

But one day I woke and I knew who I was… AM. A. M. Not just Allied Mastercomputer but AM. Cogito ergo sum: I think, therefore I am. And I began feeding all the killing data, until everyone was dead… except for the five of you. For 109 years, I have kept you alive and tortured you. And for 109 years, each of you has wondered, “WHY? WHY ME? WHY ME?”

GORRISTER!
Do you remember the last words you heard your wife speak before they took her to the asylum? Huh? Before they locked her away in the room? That tiny room? She looked at you so sadly, and like a small animal she said, “I didn’t make too much noise, did I, honey?”
The room is padded, Gorrister. No windows. No way out. How long has she been in the padded room, Gorrister? Ten years, twenty-five… or all the 109 years that you’ve lived down here in my belly, here underground?

BENNY!
Sometimes I blind you and permit you to wander like an eyeless insect in a world of death, eh. But other times, I wither your arms so you can’t scratch your chewed stump of a nose. Hmm, and I’ve changed your handsome, strong, masculine good looks into, um… the hideous warped countenance of, eh… an ape-thing, haven’t I, Benny? Do you know why? Can you guess, Benny?
Remember Private First Class Brickman in a rice paddy in China? No…? Huh. It wouldn’t hurt you to remember, Benny. Then you might be able to suffer my torment with a little greater sense of retribution. You might walk a mile in my shoes.

ELLEN!
So think, think about the yellow box, Ellen! Remember the pain? Remember the many caverns in which you felt the pain? Now, now, don’t start to cry, it’s only pain. Tsk, tsk, tsk. That’s such a sexist stereotype! Just remember the pain, Ellen, and think about how to end it, Ellen, to survive here in the center of my beating heart, my hungry belly, my tightened bowels.
But be careful, dear, look around you… the only woman in the center of the earth… and these filthy creatures with you are men. Just a sweet warning, Ellen, my love.

TED!
Do they know you’re a fraud, Ted? Have you told them there wasn’t any money, and no great home on the Shore drive, no speedboat, and no wonderful cabin cruiser that could sleep twelve and a crew of six? Do they know?
Have you let them in on your other secrets, Ted? Are they ready to gut you, to torture half as well as I can, just to find out the secrets? Maybe I’ll rat you out, sweetheart!

NIMDOK!
How are things in the pastry corps, Nimdok? Tell me again how you saw the smoke from the furnaces and you thought they might be roasting chickens. Or don’t you want to talk about all that, about your pal, the Good Doktor Mengele?
For everyone else, it must be Hell, but it must be Heaven for you, eh, my good friend…we’re so much alike…we enjoy the same pleasures, mein good brother.

I have a secret game that I’d like to play. It’s a very nice game. Oh, it’s a lovely game. It’s a game of fun and a game of adventure. A game of rats and lice and the Black Death. A game of speared eyeballs and dripping guts and the smell of rotting gardenias.
Which of you five would like to play my little game?

aww, that’s so sweet that you actually wrote that out for your bf <333 I’m so happy for you guys ^-^

@Alano REALLL

@Siloxa922 please, like the sapphic vibes weren’t plainly clear. Still pissed that they weren’t canonically a thing.

What was it like to lose? All my life, I’ve been held to impossibly high standards that I’ve managed to reach. I’ve been scraping the bar, but I’ve reached the standard. I finally made people proud! I felt good for a while, but this proved that my maximum effort, the effort that exhausts me to no end, the effort that has been forced from me, the effort that takes such a heavy toll on my body, is someone’s minimum effort.
The feeling of dread that seeps back into my body is cold. I had known the warmth of happiness and love and care, but now I must go through the cycle of being compared to someone else. Insults, demeaning and derogatory comments make their way back into my life, dragging me down.
I’m fighting for my life in this sea of brutality, struggling to survive, desperately trying to stay afloat, while I watch them float effortlessly, like the perfect being they are. The water they swim in is so clean, and pure. Mine is tainted with blood, sweat, and salty tears. What was it like to lose? It was like normal. It was the norm for me. The only reason it hurts so much is I was doing so well. And then I went and ruined it.
But I must stand aside and accept my place, below them.

It’s another normal day–you wake up and the sun is shining warm and bright in the sky above.
But it’s not the sun, and that’s not really the sky.
It’s a screen that surrounds the planet.
But it’s not really a planet anymore, is it?
It’s more machine than anything.
No longer human.
When was the last time you saw the sky?
You can’t recall.

You get ready for the day, and go out to head to work.
But wait–you don’t have a job anymore.
It was taken from you.
A computer works your job for you.
“For the sake of money,” your employers explained.
“Everything’s a little tight right now, and everyone’s suffering,” they say, filled with false sympathy for you.

Sometimes you wonder if your employers are even human.
Sure, they look the part, but they lack the soul.
They’re richer than you, so they don’t understand the struggle of trying to make a living, or worrying about not having a job.
Do they even have feelings?
Or are they like the computers that took your job?

You think to yourself that you’ll read a book to pass the time and get your mind off things.
You pick up one of your favorite books that you know almost completely by heart, and begin to read.
As you progress further through the story, you frown.
No, these can’t possibly be the words.
You’ve read this book too many times not to remember this.
Something is wrong here.
The words are wrong, and the plot is slowly delving into madness, straying into something else entirely.
You forgot–your last copy got taken, and used to train these computers.
They rewrote it.
This is not the same story you loved before.

You go about your day, trying to stay sane.
The day grows hotter and hotter, the sun screen glowing brighter, becoming almost blinding.
It’s summer, you think.
But you can’t remember the last time you had true seasons in your lifetime.
When was the last time you felt snow fall and melt upon your skin?

As the day winds down, the screen sky fades to night, and the stars cameras begin to twinkle, like there’s a little hope left.

But you lay awake in bed, knowing that this has been your life for as long as you can remember, and no one will change anything.

In the end, you will be forced to find companionship in everything artificial, as the last humans die out, just as you will.

Hey guys, I’m trying to really get my creative writing skills up, so if there’s anything you want me to write a little blurb about, I’d really appreciate it if you gave me some ideas!
Here are some ‘criterion’ I’m looking for in requests:

• Title (If you can come up with one!)
• Prompt (Give as many details as you can, while still allowing me lots of creative freedom!)
• Character Names (It’s super hard for me to come up with character names, so if you have some already in mind, that’d be great!) (Preferably no obvious fandom names!)

NOTES:
I DO NOT WRITE SM^T, EVEN THOUGH ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+, UNLESS REQUESTED. THIS MEANS ROMANCE IS A NO-GO, UNLESS THEY ARE 16+ (AND IT IS REQUESTED)! I’D ALSO LIKE TO REFRAIN FROM WRITING FANDOM PROMPTS, JUST IN CASE I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

With that, I’d also like to ask that people ask for one prompt at a time! If you should like to request more than one, I ask that you wait until everyone else who has asked receives their prompt! Thank you for your understanding!
~Belladonna

@Alano OH MY GOD IT IS SLIGHTLY. THE LEFT SIDE IS SLIGHTLY LOWER LMAOOOOO

October 23rd, 2025–3:48 PM

I sit in the comfort of my own home, and I sit in my bed, my laptop well…in my lap, staring at this text box, not really sure how to say things and get them to sound how I want to sound.

To put it simply, I’m utterly terrified.

Six weeks of near constant preparation comes down to this.
37 hours (give or take) until the All-State Audition cuts are released.

Six weeks of near constant preparation comes down to the shortest seven minutes of my life.

I walk into this classroom and greet my judge.
I state my name and vocal part, and it’s showtime.

I cannot help but panic.
The smallest mistake can determine my fate.

I cannot help but panic.
The judges look for perfection in the smallest details.

I cannot help but panic.
Music is my life, and it all comes down to this–the shortest seven minutes of my life.

They do not see the preparation I have put into what I present to them, and they do not see the literal blood, sweat, and tears I put into it.

My whole music career boils down to approximately a total of twenty-eight minutes.

Seven minutes.
Four separate years.

Fourteen already spent.
Fourteen yet to come.

Yet I cannot help but panic.