Hi! I’m back! Kind of.
I know I’ve been offline for a while, but I’ve been really productive over the last month! I spent my last year at LSM (Lutheran Summer Music) Academy up in Northfield, MN and just got back on Sunday.

It was a bit of a bittersweet year, meeting up with friends across the country for the last time. At least for a while. I did some things differently this year, and I’m really glad I did. I was actually a vocal primary, and got into Jazz Ensemble as a vocalist in a trio. (We ended up doing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy!)
This year the choir got to sing with Cantus on Stephen Paulus’ The Road Home, and I was part of a trio on the descant,
I made my roommate of 4 consecutive years and my mom cry with both my theater solo and my solo recital (Top of My School - Katherine Lynn Rose for theater, and Laurie’s Song from Aaron Copeland’s The Tenderland for solo recital), and it was great.

I should preface this section by saying that I am not a senior, but am rather going into my senior year.
(Also my roommate knows everybody and what year they’re going into, which is important.)
On the last Saturday, we sang ELW 880 (O God Beyond All Praising), which is a hymn set to Gustav Holst’s Jupiter, from his setting of The Planets, which is one of my favorite Holst works. However, this hymn also marks the day that we recognize our seniors.

The Dean of Students (love her) called people’s names, starting with first-year students, then second-years, third-years, so on. I was also just talking to my friends before that morning prayer had started about how they’re going to recognize seniors, and I don’t get that, because I’m not a senior, so when the Dean of Students finally finished listing the senior fourth-year students, she turned to look at me in the front row (already holding back tears because I knew almost all of the seniors), and said “I’m going to include you in this too.”
OKAY SO SHE HATES ME AND WANTS ME TO SOB MY EYES OUT.

ON THE TRAIN OF PEOPLE HATING ME AND WANTING ME DEAD AND SOBBING MY EYES OUT:
I vaguely mentioned something to my roommate, about how I wanted to get this one book that really meant a lot to me (The Boy, The Mole, The Fox, and The Horse by Charles Mackesy), and how I wanted to have people sign it and leave messages, but I couldn’t get one, so I was going to have people sign my shirt instead.
On that Saturday night, after the orchestra concert, he came up to me, and gave me that exact book, signed by my friends, other students I don’t even know, staff, and all sorts of people.

“To show you how loved you are here, and how much of an impact you’ve made, to those you don’t even know.”
Those were his words exactly when he gave it to me.

I read it that night, crying over countless signatures and messages on pages that mattered to me. Pages that I’ve had hanging on my wall since my first year in 2023, pages that I’ve had signed by friends and staff that I’ve known and loved for four years, and pages that make me cry just by looking at them and remembering the memories they hold.

I’m really excited for this upcoming year to show the growth I’ve gone through, and for this upcoming summer in 2027, for my overseas trip!

My skin itches. Day and night. It feels like there’s bugs crawling under my skin, but there’s nothing there. It’s been like this for as long as I can remember.
I remember…one time the itch was so bad and intense that I scratched and scratched until my skin started to break, and I kept clawing and clawing only for the feeling to remain, and my skin to redden more and more as I kept clawing and gouging away at my flesh, blood vessels breaking under angry, reddened, and bruised skin.
And still, the mark continued to itch and writhe as if it were alive, and I kept going and going, like I knew that if I just got down to the muscle and sinew-covered bone of my body, the itch would finally be satisfied. I desperately wanted the feeling to go away, but even when I scratched bone, the itch was still there.
I still feel the itch. The writhing. Like it’s alive, and maybe it is. Maybe it’s meant to do this. This is something I’ve come to terms with. In fact, I’ve grown used to it, and I’m reminded of my shameful actions of the past, proven by the marred and scarred skin. The Mark, on the other hand…It’s Mark remains ever perfect, despite my imperfections. I will reach true enlightenment soon enough, and I will reach and meet the True Assimilation. I will be…perfect in It’s eyes. I will be perfection incarnate.

@plutonium HELLO? This is weirdly specific but the stare reminds me of this chick who does the Jasper impressions </3

All remaining personnel are to head to any escape pods or hunker in emergency shelters if necessary.

Facility Integrity: 78%
Crystal: Secure
External Pressure: 24%
Containment Status: Ragnarök

“Expendable” protocol in progress.

Containment Logs
13:26 Z-13 fakes anesthesia dosage, escapes transport
13:28 Z-13 kills a high-ranking officer, takes keycard
13:31 Z-13 starts unlocking containment cells as he passes
13:34 Full facility lockdown initiated and personnel evac begins
14:17 External soldiers are loaded onto submarines to secure Crystal (As of right now, we are here.)
14:46 Soldiers cannot reach Crystal without major losses, “Expendable” protocol initiated
20:05 First group of Expendable Prisoners arrive

Also this is a real person that Identifies as an ACTA or Age change to another.

It’s similar to RCTA, ECTA, or DCTA (Race change to another), (Ethnicity change to another) or (Disability change to another)

I honestly really hate the [x]CTA. It’s hard to put into words, but that is not something you can change. You cannot change your race. You cannot change your ethnicity. Those are literally genetic. You cannot change your age-you cannot undo what time has done to just change a number. You cannot change a disability-if you have one, you can’t just change it because you’re feeling ‘silly.’ That can be and is very offensive to those that have those disabilities. It’s frustrating, and honestly, I’m not sure how people can actually live with themselves like that. They should know that this kind of behavior is socially and kind of morally wrong. :/

I know that life is getting harder and harder.
I know that school is getting more draining by the day.
I know that the world is really fucked up right now.
I know.
Trust me, I know.
I live this, too.
But I made this playlist in hopes it will help you the way it helped me.

It contains various Lo-Fi songs (generic compositions, anime covers, etc…) as well as music box covers of lots of game music (Baldur’s Gate 3, Legend of Zelda, Undertale, Mario, Pokémon, and the sort). There’s also Skyrim, Minecraft, and actual classical pieces. There should be no songs with words or anything too distracting.
I made this when I was really struggling last year with staying focused, and half of the songs ended up on my Spotify wrapped because I listened to it so much. I really hope it helps you the way it helped me.

🌿♥ Bring a bottle of water, a charger, headphones/earbuds, caffeine if you drink it, study supplies, and anything else you might need. (Heating pad/blanket/hoodie, light source, a study buddy such as a friend or pet, etc.) Love y’all. Stay smart. ♥🌿

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1QLKIXizy5oDU9wcBxAjp9?si=g361c653Swu92WSalddhZQ

Artemis honestly- dragging drama out like this is dumb, and I wish it’d just stay off the site. Or at least in dms, but people don’t seem to understand that concept

in my mind, this is a legit thing- i can explain if you want, but it is a lengthy explanation- so…hmu if you want it
also lmk if this makes sense- idk- i might be crazy.

@Alano LIKE WHAT IS THATTT BROTHER EUUGGHHHH

@Wubbrle-the-Wubble Kat started it and made it tradition. <33

RIP yourlocalsanjifan, you will be missed.

come sit around the fire
surrounded by the trees
enveloped by the darkness
come put your mind at ease

the flames are growing higher
the warmth is all around
our faces glowing amber
rest your body on the ground

somnium oh ours (at least my state’s) isn’t like that–we have a “what is this document” “what does this from this document mean” “whos your representative” “how many x are in y” “why are there this amount” etc etc its so dumb i only missed like…16 questions 127 questions, mind you

Pheo I know it really messed some people up, myself included, but that’s because I was younger and much dumber than I am now, but I also know that some people find this place as a source of solace, and that people have made good memories here. So like it could be a good thing that it dies, but also it could be sad for a lot of people.

zack literally- I only got bits and pieces of it, but it’s dumb either way

somnium I mean it was just a general American history test- but like it’s so dumb bc I was born and raised here. Like…I may be dumb but I’m not that dumb. </3

yayy (my ass NEVER paid attention in history )

anonymeows8 its giving “you want a bite of this cookie”

Toast are you aming

Artemis honestly- dragging drama out like this is dumb, and I wish it’d just stay off the site. Or at least in dms, but people don’t seem to understand that concept

there’s literally no reason to be dragging your drama bs out publicly–I can guarantee that no one cares, and you’re just annoying everyone else with it. frankly, this is just immature. and I don’t care who started it. keep this shit between yourselves in your dms. this is not what this site is for. keep it that way.