Everything that was bad filled my head
I looked at my pages of what you all said
My body trembled before it went limp, I felt dead
Nah I felt great, I felt chill I felt calm
I’m not gonna go crying to my fucking mom
Y’all would like that I know cause you love that what you said
Made me scared, made me cry, made me feel dead
I can’t associate myself with another fuckin person
Everyone seems to treat me fuckin absurd and
I’m tired of feelin like another fuckin burden
I can feel it, my blood inside burnin
I don’t wanna get hurt again, I’m startin again, close these curtains the light hurts and I’m tired of lookin
I wanna fuckin collapse, everything you say makes me wanna relapse, a habit of misery perhaps, sorry I’m not better at making choices

i’ve been off my anti-anxiety meds for a month, if you want to be close to me/talk to me, im gonna be panicky for the next 2-3 ish weeks until my meds fully kick back in. it comes with panic disorder. i panic over little irrational things and i can’t help it.

number 2, when things happen, i need space to heal from said things. whether that be losing people, lost friendships/relationships, giving me space is the best option if i seem to be pissed off with you. i don’t hate you, i just need space to not fucking talk to you at that moment, thats how i get over things. if i feel like talking to you again, i will, if i break off the attachment and i dont feel like it, i won’t. it’s that simple.

sometimes i get a little clingy and i double text idk if people care about that but yeah. that just means i care about you and enjoy talking to you…

but im sick of feeling like i have to talk to someone when i need space or im in the wrong. if you trigger a panic attack, im likely gonna distance myself like my psychiatrist tells me to do. sorry lol.

thats all lol.

“I unblocked you btw” like literally get the hell out of my life, I don’t want you in it. I don’t care. Couldn’t care any less. I was happy with you not in my life. But I’m stuck seeing you every damn day. It’s not like I want to talk to you. Please exit my life and get hit with the door. You didn’t give a shit about me when we were dating so why do you care now. You didn’t talk to me for months when we were together. So keep doing that. I don’t want you in my life. [this is very targeted at my ex, Id say it to them but like they go to school with me]

Anyway, I just need to put this somewhere. And here happens to be the only place I really can right now ig.

Knox exactly, like okay i get it if you don’t wanna talk to me at that moment but just idfk SAY that

@Hexers-Angel Don’t give up, hold on a little longer.
Soon there might be the perfect guy who makes this stress all go away

Shazz_ its okay shazz, thank you for understanding

@finneass I didn’t need an explanation, all I needed was that beautiful, beautiful topic name.