I meet someone - We talk - I get attached - They leave.

i feel like im just pissing everyone off atp
like i feel like im not good enough
i keep being annoying
like i just cnat control myself
how about i just end it all
and restart my life
so that i dont have to worry
about the people that
ive pissed off
i wonder
how would that sound?

im mostly the one to snap.
and that wont do me any good
they just get angry
and then tell me that im nothing but a burden
then i get all sensitive
and thats to their enjoyment
they like seeing me cry
im bringing them the satisfaction
i want to fucking torture them till theyre bruised and battered up with cuts
oh sweet life
wont you just listen to me

i cant do it
i just cant
i cant bring myself to do it
its not LIKE me.

im conflicted as fuck
im done
and im not
…

“You said you think that I should lose some weight. That shit cut deep so all I said was same.”

Sphinx bro what the fluff.
She literally sounds and seems like a true psychopath😭
I am so sorry that you have to deal with this like for real. I thought she was like “oh nope, your with your dad now so I don’t care about you and leave us alone” and now she’s taking you to court and doing all this other stuff. Like woman if your gonna be a mom this isn’t the way to do it

Is this in regard to mpp community or just in general?

i have no understanding of relationships, it seems. last night i was stoned via edible and kinda watching this conversation between my boyfriend and his friend. i had music going and i was zoned out while eating a wholeass can o pringles.
so i see that my name is mentioned and so i respond in my typical fashion.
well 'pparently that was wrong because they were talking about some sensitive subject and i was NOT paying attention. so my boyfriend got upset and went offline and his friend started ragging on me about how i dont really care and im unserious and i dont really love him.
so i didnt sleep well last night because i was upset, and today i spent the whole day in a fog. i couldnt even do my school. then fast forward an hour and im bawling my eyes out while trying to talk to my boyfriend and one of my best friends at the same time (he was trying to cheer me up).
did anything bad come out of this? no. i legit though we were over but we werent. so.
we smoothed things over and then i took a 30 minute nap and woke up two hours later.
i just. wanted to say this.
im so burnt out.

@Protocol no problem I don’t mind sitting there and just helping

she’s tired. Tired of me, tired of my dog, and tired of my chickens.

i’m a bother. I know i am. I’m tired of her constant snaps because i need something. I’m sick right now and i’m worrying about being too lazy because she’s exhausted.

i’m forcing myselff to stop being a child. To step up and deal with myself.
my mother says i’m the best thing that’s happened to her and yet… all i feel is that i’m a burden. i’ve even told my father about it.

I want to run away. Kill myself. Find another family that loves me.

I can’t imagine witnessing what you got through I am really sorry for you

Sorry I wasn’t signed in to witness this post but don’t kys man

" I’m not in the wrong "
" she jokes Abt it too "

Tell that to 3 people. Me, Wren, Basil.

And if I joked Abt it, Do you think they wouldn’t have stepped up for me? Exactly. They would’ve been out of my life by now. They would’ve Called me out, Cut me off, And walked away. So don’t gaslight me. Don’t twist this into a joke just because you can’t handle the weight of what you said. You’re not funny. You’re not right.

@YangyangsSluttyCunt said in

But why did you have to be so problematic?

You don’t care, You just like the idea of caring.

im just stressed
and overwhelmed
that
im making my friends angry
like
just seeing them vent to me
makes me feel overwhelmed
and i always feel like
its all my fault
i dont know why

I don’t want the weight of being the cause of my friends deaths anymore. It’s not my fault. I loved them. I always did. I never wanted them to end it. Yet you’re always like " You’re the reason. " " They did it because of you. " I don’t want to the the problem. It’s not always my fault of someone fucking killing themselves. You’re the one at fault. Not me. Fuck off. I’m not always the one to automatically blame just because I was close with them. Fuck you. Every time something bad happens to my close friends, You’re always so quick to look at me and accuse me. What the fuck are you looking at you fucking bitch. Fuck off. I’m not always the problem. I don’t want to be. Even though I’m not. You’re just covering up the goddamn fact you’re the one that drove them to cause it. And you’re too scared to live with the fact you borderline murdered my fucking only will to live. It’s painful. You’re painful.

all because of a phone number.

Infina-Phoenix HELP I LOVE THIS THANK YOU

@ry_rylie Thats- Crazy- bro was inconspicuously calling you stupid 😭

@keep-yourself-safe
Snaps my calcium

@siloxa922
Do not let them take advantage of you. Please do tell a trusted adult. Even if you (can’t / don’t want to) fight back, it’s best to tell on them for it. Don’t think you’re going to be a snitch, you’re doing the right thing to keep yourself safe.

The adults will take care of it and protect you,
Raven.

Those thoughts have come so dangerously close, but I never can.
But there’s always this voice in the back of my mind that I’ll never be good enough.
That I’ll never win their approval.
That I never should have been born.